Big Hair and Southern Charm

Everyone has that thing. You know, that one thing you do after every break-up.  Your relationship with a significant other has ended and you resort to grasping for anything that gives you happiness.

I recently surveyed friends to see what their “thing” is. Some admit to needing both Chick-fil-A and Burger King–At the same time. Some consume entirely too much alcohol. Some stop eating. Some over eat. Some cry. Some jump for joy.

Chocolate. Sad songs. Angry songs. Burning photos. Breaking photos with glass for emphasis (that’s a good one). Girls’ night out. Guys’ night out.

De-friending on Facebook. Stalking on Facebook. Un-Tagging on Facebook. Yelling. Crying. Laughing. Etc, etc.

I’ve only had a few break-ups worth being sad over and none of the above ever got me through it.  However, there is one thing that makes me happy and always, always takes the bitter sting out of the end of a relationship: Shoes.

That’s right. Shoes. While some people eat pounds of chocolate or cry until their eyes can’t open, I buy shoes. I call them “My Break-Up Shoes.”

It all started my senior year of high school when I was head-over-heels for Sam* (*names have been changed to protect the innocent jerks). After five months, Sam* broke-up with me over AOL Instant Messenger. Yes, that really happened. Needless to say, I was devastated. But Momma Higg quickly came to the rescue with a pair of black Chuck Taylor’s merely hours after I received the Instant Message. (Sam* is married now…obviously he’s a keeper.)

But just months after my heart was initially broken, another guy walked into my life who loved me and my Chucks. But that, too, ended in more Break-Up Shoes–just like the next and the next. I am the proud owner of four pairs of Break-Up Shoes. Yes, I still own each pair and wear them–except the Chucks (I’m not a hipster anymore).

There are rules for the Break-Up Shoes:

1) They must be purchased within 8 hours of the break-up.

2) They must be worn immediately.

3) They must be awesome.

It may not seem like much, but My Break-Up Shoes are a way of closing a chapter. Don’t get me wrong, money isn’t buying my happiness–money can’t do that.

Happiness comes from the friends who bring you pizza immediately after the break-up.  Who tell you stories and make you laugh while you purchase your Break-Up Shoes online through blurry eyes.  Who leave brownies on your doorstep.

My Shoes are just a way of making a terrible feeling, a little less terrible.  Even though I dwell on all the wrong things said and replay every moment in my head, at least I get compliments on my kicks, right?

I will always buy Break-Up Shoes until I no longer need break-up therapy. But, for the time being, I suppose these will do just fine

Happy Fat Tuesday!!

I love the Lenten Season.  Besides Christmas, it is truly my favorite time of year.  There’s just something about the Springtime that makes my heart so happy and, to me, Lent and Easter are the beginning of Spring.

As a Southern Baptist, I never really celebrated the Lenten Season until I lived with one of my very best friends, Christine, who was Catholic.

Here she is on the right:

During the 40 days of Lent, some people choose to give-up something like chocolate, alcohol, bread, etc.  But one year, Christine gave up listening to the car radio in attempt to spend the silence with God.  I thought that sounded extremely hard, but something that I should definitely do.  So I copied her…and have given up the car radio each Lenten Season since.

Think about 40 whole days of no noise in the car.  40 days of silence to and from work.  To and from downtown.  To and from the grocery store.  In traffic.  On a country road.  Silence.  Last year, I traveled to Athens, GA during Lent which meant no car radio for six hours.  It almost sounds like torture.

However, it’s totally worth it.  We live in a society surrounded by noise and distractions.  Anything to constantly keep our attention.  If you take small things away like Facebook or Twitter or Text Messages or car radios, who knows what will come out of that time of reflection.  I’ve had some seriously awesome revelations in a car with no radio.  Just try it.

Happy Lenten Season, y’all!  Eat some King Cake, get yer ashes, and spend 40 days giving back to the One who gave you so much.  Then buy a purdy new Easter dress

In my 26 years on this earth, I have had four serious boyfriends–all of whom are now married.  Further, many men I’ve dated are now currently in a relationship with, engaged to, or married to the young lady they began dating right after me.  It sounds like the setting of a terrible rom-com.

I have successfully de-friended/blocked/forgotten about these ex-boyfriends.  However, when I am home for the holidays, I can’t escape the questions or updates I receive from others about their whereabouts and happiness.  Here is a question: What is your first reaction when you hear the great things going on in your ex’s life?

A) “Oh my! I am overjoyed at his happiness.  How wonderful it must be to find the love of your life!  I hope they have lots of well-behaved children and are happy forever.  And ever”

B) “I hope he gets fat.  And that they bicker constantly.  And then she gets fat.”

If you chose, “A,” then you’re a saint and I roll my eyes at you.

If you chose “B,” then let’s go get margaritas.

But why do we feel this way?  Why do we (ahem…I) immediately wish unhappiness on my past beaus who I once adored?  Why do I wish unhappiness for the incredibly happy?

A friend asked me for advice on the topic the other day and I believe  it all stems from the loneliness many feel of being single.  So many folks are bitter towards relationships–They hate flowers.  Hate Valentine’s Day.  Hate PDA.  Hate friend’s engagements.  Hate weddings.  The list goes on.

God purposefully created us to feel loneliness because we aren’t meant to be alone.  We’re meant to seek relationships with God, family, friends, etc.  But both men and women don’t realize that singleness is a gift–and it truly is.  You have such a short amount of time to be single–and this is God’s gift to help you realize what you want in life, what goals you want to accomplish, and what you want in a companion.

So, single people–Your singleness is a gift, a beautiful gift-allowing you to grow closer to God and have him guide you toward what and who He wants for you.  Don’t waste your energy on being unhappy in singleness; rather, enjoy your singleness and live up the girls’ nights, the family time, the bad dates, the good dates, the first kisses, and the traveling you can do without someone attached to your side. Enjoy the “I did…” because, before you realize, it will turn into the “We did…”