What happened to dating?

Let’s talk about something serious.  Dating.  There, I said it.  I think it needs to be chatted about…or my head will explode.

You know those friends you have that you always go to for relationship advice?  For some reason I’m that friend.  But why am I that friend?  All of my relationships have ended in disaster or the counterpart becoming engaged or married to the lady that followed me.  No seriously, I’m keeping track and it’s true…but that’s another subject for another day.

Anyways, because I’m “that” friend, I’ve heard lots of stories about dating and here’s my question: What happened to dating and healthy relationships? (Insert random picture here to make the post more than just text…this was taken in NYC…)

I truly believe my generation has completely lost contact with reality.  Seriously think about it–How many of your dates/relationships have started with a text message, FaceBook message, or e-mail?  Be honest with yourself.  I know I’m guilty of it.  In fact, I’ve legitimately had a “relationship” where the communication was built 80% around text messaging.  Oh my goodness, I take that back.  I’ve had two relationships built on text messages.  Oy.

Has this happened to anyone else?  Why on earth are people dating this way?

Do you know what I miss as a 25-year old single woman?  The Southern gentleman talking to you for longer than 15 minutes, in person, and then directly asking for your number.  Once he got that number he called you the next day to ask you out for the following Friday. Then he picked you up at your door, opened the door to his truck, helped you in, and shut that door.  Then he took you to dinner and drove you to a date-y activity afterwards, ie: movie or putt-putt (my personal favorite).  And when he dropped you off, he didn’t expect a kiss…or anything else for that matter.  Then he called you the next day to ask you out again.  Rinse and repeat.

Ohhh how I miss this.

This is what dating has become: FaceBook friend request–>FaceBook message (totally generic examples: “Hey..what’s up?” or “Hey, are you going to that party on Friday?” or “Hey..haven’t talked to you in 3 years.  When are you coming back to Texas?”)—> FaceBook message back and forth —> Meet up at party/establishment—>etc, etc.  And if it’s not a FaceBook message, it’s a text message.  Why is everyone so scared to chat with someone via phone, or heaven forbid, in person?

However, I agree that there are some genuinely amazing relationships that can be message-related.  Example? My beautiful friend Britney.  She met her fiance by chatting to a random opponent playing Words with Friends.  Don’t believe me?  See the story in the Wall Street Journal. Now, after they met, they began a healthy relationship that actually involved speaking to and seeing one another, but I even think Brit would agree that her story is pretty unique.

Am I ranting?  I’m definitely not meaning to.  But over the years I’ve had some interesting dates/courtships and I’ve been unbelievably disappointed (with the exception of a few).

My point? Men: Step you’re game up.  Be men.  Step outside the comfort of a text message and ask a girl out like a gentleman.  You’d be surprised at her response.

And Women: Channel Grace Kelley and Audrey Hepburn…let the men ask you out and don’t lower your expectations.

I didn’t plan to write this on Valentine’s Day, but it’s funny how things work out.  My Valentine’s Day advice for you?  Go to the store tomorrow and buy all the candy 75% off.  #swagger

Happy Valentine’s Day, folks 🙂

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One thought on “What happened to dating?

  1. You know..you bring up some real valid points. And it makes me sad to think that dating in this day and age is as you say. I’m older…57. I’m real happy to say that dating in my day was just like you would like it to return to. My husband and I have been married for almost 32 years and I remember our first date so clearly. We met at my place of work at the time. Taco Bell. He would come in late at night and order the same thing. Because it was late at night the Bell wasn’t usually busy and so that led to speaking to one another…until the evening he came in to ask me out.
    He picked me up at my apartment, opened the door to his pickup to let me in (he still does this today), we went to eat and then to the movies. It was wonderful. We talked about so many things that night and I had a feeling that this was something special.
    I love technology and use a lot of it…but there is nothing like real conversation in real time and good old southern manners. I wish you luck in finding both.
    Love the blog!!

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