In my 26 years on this earth, I have had four serious boyfriends–all of whom are now married. Further, many men I’ve dated are now currently in a relationship with, engaged to, or married to the young lady they began dating right after me. It sounds like the setting of a terrible rom-com.
I have successfully de-friended/blocked/forgotten about these ex-boyfriends. However, when I am home for the holidays, I can’t escape the questions or updates I receive from others about their whereabouts and happiness. Here is a question: What is your first reaction when you hear the great things going on in your ex’s life?
A) “Oh my! I am overjoyed at his happiness. How wonderful it must be to find the love of your life! I hope they have lots of well-behaved children and are happy forever. And ever”
B) “I hope he gets fat. And that they bicker constantly. And then she gets fat.”
If you chose, “A,” then you’re a saint and I roll my eyes at you.
If you chose “B,” then let’s go get margaritas.
But why do we feel this way? Why do we (ahem…I) immediately wish unhappiness on my past beaus who I once adored? Why do I wish unhappiness for the incredibly happy?
A friend asked me for advice on the topic the other day and I believe it all stems from the loneliness many feel of being single. So many folks are bitter towards relationships–They hate flowers. Hate Valentine’s Day. Hate PDA. Hate friend’s engagements. Hate weddings. The list goes on.
God purposefully created us to feel loneliness because we aren’t meant to be alone. We’re meant to seek relationships with God, family, friends, etc. But both men and women don’t realize that singleness is a gift–and it truly is. You have such a short amount of time to be single–and this is God’s gift to help you realize what you want in life, what goals you want to accomplish, and what you want in a companion.
So, single people–Your singleness is a gift, a beautiful gift-allowing you to grow closer to God and have him guide you toward what and who He wants for you. Don’t waste your energy on being unhappy in singleness; rather, enjoy your singleness and live up the girls’ nights, the family time, the bad dates, the good dates, the first kisses, and the traveling you can do without someone attached to your side. Enjoy the “I did…” because, before you realize, it will turn into the “We did…”