A Little Long in the Tooth

Have you ever heard the expression, “Long in the Tooth?” I hadn’t until this week. Let me tell you about it:
But first, let me share a picture (Circa 1989) that makes my heart smile:

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I went to a local restaurant the other day. I was waiting on the bar tender and I started chatting with some older townies to pass the time. Here’s the convo after literally three minutes:

Old Townie: “…how old are you? I’ve got a 25 year-old son and I bet he’d love you.”

Me: “I’m 27,” I smiled and replied, confidently.

….*crickets*….

Old, rude Townie: “Oh…well, I think you’re a little long in the tooth for my son.”

Me: I didn’t get it. “I’m what? I have big teeth?”

Old, rude Townie: “No. Just long in the tooth.”

Me: I looked to his buddies for some help. One of them replied, “I think that means you’re too old.”

I’ll let you use your imagination and guess what my reaction was. Choose:

a) Oh really? I missed the cut? Dang itttttt. What if I get botox? What if I can guarantee to act like a 19 year-old? I’ll wear my Uggs with Nike shorts. Anything–I’ll do anything. PLEEEEASSEEEE.

b) ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? OH, SO TWO YEARS IS THE BREAKING POINT FOR COMPATIBILITY? 27 IS NOT OLD–YOU OLD, WRINKLED GEEZER. YOU SUCK *turn to his buddies* AND YOU ALL SUCK. **throw beer in his face, smash the glass on the floor, and walk out of the bar in triumph with my hands over-head and everyone clapping**

c) Oh. Ok. Well, it was nice chatting with you. Thanks for the insult and goodnight, boys.

Ok, the right answer was “c.” I got really flustered and just walked away.

Side note: Horse’s teeth grow with age so folks can make a rough estimate on how old one is by looking at their teeth–hence the phrase “Long in the Tooth.” Whatever. I hate horses.

Now, was I actually interested in this man’s son before he made the “too old” comment? Absolutely not. I’m not big on meeting men in bars (or calling their sons). But my pride was hurt. He cut me deep. Real deep.

I work with college students every day and I’m always joking about how old I am–but I don’t really feel that old. 27 is still young right? You’re only as old as you feel, right?

And I guess I’ve never really thought about age when dating someone. I’ve always been told there is the “Half-Plus-Seven-Rule.” You take your age, divide it by half and then add seven years and that’s the minimal acceptable age you can date. So 27..divided by two…plus 7…equals..20.5. Yeesh. Let’s round up to 21. Er, let’s round up more to 23? Whatever. Let’s not talk about it anymore. I’m over it.

When did dating get so complicated?

Here’s a picture of me as a kiddo to make me remember the good ol’ days: When age was a single-digit and the only man you cared about impressing was yer pop.

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Ponies, Beavers, and a Happy Puppy.

I’ve been in College Station for a few weeks and I already feel at home. I seriously don’t think the smile has left my face. Here’s a quick update of the past few weeks:

I adore my office and the folks I work with. This is probably going to stay up for a few months…

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And the view from my office is Kyle Field…no big deal.

photo 1 (2)Pretty terrible, right?

At home, I live with Tiner. I’ve mentioned that, right? It’s no surprise that we’re already on the lookout for new adventures.

Anyways, we’ve been on the hunt for a beaver in our pond. We’ve both seen it in the water at night after feeding the horses and we’re bound and determined to find it. We’re on the prowl almost every day after work. I come home and immediately put my Beans on over my slacks. I kind of wish this was acceptable everyday wear.  #classy

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^^^THE DAM. This sucker has gnawed off some serious trees in the middle of the water, too. We’re guessing it’s about 50 pounds. I’m terrified that it’s going to eat Kingsford.  Here are some fun facts about beavers:

1) They’re monogamous. Awwwwww

2) They build dams because they like still water and they’re very territorial. No surprises for these guys.

3) Last year, a fisherman was bitten twice in the leg by a beaver and died. Ok, so maybe the beaver hit the femoral artery, but still. They mean business.

You’re probably wondering, “What are you going to do once you find the beaver, Higgs?” Excellent question! We don’t know. But it keeps our lives exciting for the time being. We’re hoping to get a few more game cams on the situation. Stay tuned.

Other than scouting rodents, I’m spending time with Tiner’s horses. Hey Dan Bob.

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Lookin’ good, Scoop.

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And I’m spending some good time hanging out with Kings. I think she feels at home, too. I mean, she goes out with me every morning/night to feed the horses and seems pretty comfortable back in Texas.

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It’s good to be home, y’all. So good. When are you coming to visit?